When he said "I don't love you anymore" (2023)

It's devastating to hear someone say they don't love you. First, know that no matter how bad you feel or how deep your pain is, you won't always feel that way. You are in pain now and will be in pain for a while, but it will pass.

My tips for dealing with a broken heart will help you heal—even if you think you'll never forget his devastating words that he doesn't love you anymore. I also share my recent YouTube video:Adjusting to Living Alone After Years of Marriage: 5 Tips for Separated Women.

It's overwhelming to hear those words from someone you love. What to do when he doesn't love you? When it happened to me, I thought I was going to die. I had to find a new place to live, start from scratch, and rebuild my self-confidence.

I didn't realize until later how lucky I was that he broke up with me.

"Give room to your union," says Khalil Gibran. "Let the winds of heaven dance between you." Here's a tip when he doesn't love you anymore: Take a step back and let the air flow between you. Take another breath and know that you are loved.

Below I describe what is meant by "the space in their union". I hate to resort to clichés, but when you release something you love and it comes back to you, it's true, it's meant to be. Sometimes you gotta let go, especially when he sayshe fell in love with you.

10 Ways to Cope When He Says He Doesn't Love You

I'm not going to tell you to try to forget him because it seems impossible. You need to suffer in order to take care of yourself. You need to deal with the pain of rejection and move on in your life...but you also need time to grieve the loss of your relationship.

Allowing yourself to grieve and heal, to grieve and move on is a balancing act. First, you allow yourself to experience the natural grieving process. So you start looking for ways to rebuild your life.

1. Work through sadness and grief by expressing your emotions

Give yourself time to go through the natural stages of grief. You may still be in shock—you may find yourself unable to believe that he doesn't love you. Or, maybe deep down you knew all along that he wasn't completely devoted to you.

Give yourself space, privacy, and time to grieve and process your grief, doubts, anger, and hurt. Do not rush into the process. Keep your heart broken by writing in a journal and listening to sad songs about breakups. You have to go through pain before you can start healing. Going through pain is healing and will help youmend your broken heart, even though it hurts when a husband or boyfriend says he doesn't love you anymore.

2. Focus onyourself- not in

You may find yourself thinking about him all the time. What is he doing, why is he in love with you, where is he now, who is he with? What caused him to stop loving you and when did he stop?

While these questions and feelings are natural, you must learn to control your thoughts. It meant ending the endless rumination and obsession with him. You need to start rebuilding your self-image and self-esteem, and understanding what it means to truly love yourself.

In order for others to love and respect you, you must love and respect yourself. In order to love and respect yourself, you may need to make real, practical changes in your life. Maybe it means losing a few pounds, going back to school, or spending more time with people you respect. Maybe it means waking up early to exercise or learning about student loans. Start writing down your goals and taking concrete action steps to achieve them.

3. Find ways to rebuild your love (if you can't live without it)

It's not the healthiest way to receive it, but you can readI Love You, But I Don't Love You: 7 Steps to Saving Your RelationshipIf you are determined to save your relationship. Author Andrew Marshal is a couples counselor who teaches people how to rekindle love and rebuild their marriage—even if a boyfriend or husband says he doesn't love you.

"It seems like no matter what culture you live in, whether you're male or female, this 'I love you but I don't love you' thing seems like it can happen to anyone," said one reader. "I think you're not alone, which is a little comforting. But don't get me wrong, this is a difficult book to read. It forces you to take off your rose-colored glasses and really look at your own behavior. After reading the first few chapters, I more than An epiphany, and more than once I said to myself, "No wonder that's the way it is! "I understand why my wife says she doesn't love me anymore and I'm trying to change that."

4. Give yourself - and him - space to heal and breathe

Heal by accepting the truth: He says he doesn't love you anymore, and he means it. That doesn't mean you're unlovable or unworthy! It just means your feelings have changed. He fell in love not because of what you were or did or said...but because of something he might not even be aware of. When your husband or boyfriend says he doesn't love you, you have to accept and give in to his feelings.

Focus on how to thrive in your own life. One of the most important things to do when he doesn't love you anymore is to step back - even if your instinct is to move closer! Find your identity. find out who you arealsoYour marriage, relationships, children and relatives. Give yourself (and him) breathing room.

If you're struggling with desolation and hopelessness, read7 Ways to Cope With Depression After a Breakup.

5. Be objective about your relationship

You've invested in this marriage or relationship for years; now, you need to look at it objectively, using your mind and intuition (not your heart). Is this the relationship you wanted before you met him?

Would you like your daughter, sister or best friend to be in this kind of relationship? Is your partner willing to meet your needs and respect your wishes? Would you do the same for him? If you could do it all over again, ask yourself if you would choose him as your partner again. This can help you analyze your relationship and decide if you want to stay or go.

Em"I love you, but I'm in love with her" | When the truth breaks your heart, Byron Katie helps a man sort out his feelings about loving two women at the same time. Katie shows you how to feel deeply in love with more than one person at the same time, and helps you accept the sometimes painful truth of "I love you, but I'm in love with her."

When we surrender to the truth, we find freedom, peace and joy.

6. Know what “Everything Belongs” means

I recently discovered two phrases that soothe my soul when things get out of hand...

  1. everything belongs to
  2. Only in this way

The first one is from Richard RohrIt All Belongs: The Gift of Contemplative Prayer,It describes how to find spirituality in everyday life. This is a heavy book - the title alone is worth savoring.

"Everything belongs" means that all the heartbreak and all the beauty in the world and in our lives should be here. Our land is breathtaking, beautiful, painful and lonely. Our lives are bittersweet, full of pain and joy, loss and blessing. Every painful moment and happy experience has its own role.

We were seated exactly as planned. We don't always feel great, we don't always choose what happens to us, but...it all belongs. Even if a guy says he doesn't love you anymore - even if that's your life now.

7. Practice saying “Just So” every time you feel pain

i love towers booka gentleman in moscowThis is where another of my favorite phrases comes from: "like that". In it, a wealthy Russian count is kept under house arrest in an old hotel - but he has the most charming, cheerful and positive outlook on life.

Get this: He got up one morning and banged his head on the ceiling beams. What does he do?

"Exactly," he said kindly, before leaving for breakfast.

Only in this way. Because everything belongs.

Feel the difference between saying "just like that" because it all belongs (the ease of accepting it) and fighting against the reality that you don't want it to happen (overwhelmed by the futile burden and pain of resistance). , because everything belongs to .

8. Do at least one new thing in your life

Here are some practical tips on what to do when he says he doesn't love you anymore:

  • Make a list of things that aren't as exhausting as this list
  • Planning a trip to Thailand, Peru or Italy
  • Volunteer at a homeless shelter
  • Become a Big Sisters Volunteer Mentor
  • Take a Sushi Making Class
  • Join a Snowshoe or Hiking Club
  • Take a Zumba class
  • find a new place to live

It doesn't matter what the new activity is... what matters is that you find new and fun things to do in your life. So when you start having a crush on your ex, you can practice replacing that crush with something new and fun.

9. Let go (hold too tightly and you will choke)

If you hug a relationship too tightly, you will suffocate it. my ebook,give up on someone you love, is about letting go of unhealthy attachments and making space in your marriage. Even the closest relationships need room to breathe.

When he said

Leaving a relationship is the healthiest way to love someone. Letting go is dealing with regret, dealing with guilt, and healing shame. When you let go of a person, you let go of your expectations of him. You will find peace and freedom. You can start moving towards a new season of life.

give up on someone you loveFull of practical and comforting ways to heal the soul. You feel encouraged and strengthened, comforted and supported.

10. Share your story

What has been your experience - how has your boyfriend or husband said he doesn't love you anymore? I invite you to share your story below. I can't give advice or tell you how to make him fall in love with you again, but sometimes writing brings clarity and insight. Writing can help you heal and help you figure out what's going on in your relationship. You may never find all the answers, but you can solve them.

Sometimes couples go through ups and downs, peaks and valleys...it might just be a difficult time in your relationship. But even if you decide you want to get it back, don't go after it right away. Give him time and space to think, miss you, think about life without you.

Are you struggling to let go? readHow to Emotionally Separate From Someone You Love.

When he said

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212 thoughts on “When he said “I don't love you anymore””

  1. has hope May 30, 2023 at 9:33 am


    My husband and I have been together for 10 years. A year ago, our marriage started to break down and I was so unhappy that I even thought about leaving him. All my attempts to speak up, to encourage him to work hard for our marriage were unsuccessful - he kept telling me "I'm so scared you're leaving, I love you so much" Of course I never thought things could get any better. I'm still working on those issues, since we don't have any major issues. Some communication issues and lack of intimacy. Seven months ago, he suddenly announced that he was unhappy, ran away from home, and said he wanted a divorce. We have been separated since then. He didn't want to communicate or work with me for the first few months. It was so painful, I was completely devastated and depressed. It took me a few months to recover and start to accept this reality. I've never thought about getting divorced so I'm staying optimistic that we'll still be able to reconnect, but I'm giving him time to think about it. We started reconciling 2 months ago and I think things are going slowly but well. I suddenly found out that I was pregnant! (We did several rounds of IVF before we tried to conceive for years and nothing worked). But now in the middle of a breakup, it happens. He was so happy about it and started planning where we would live together, I hope he will be home until we find a new place to live. But a few days ago I asked him when he would come back, and he said he didn't love me and couldn't be together, even though I was pregnant with his child. He was the first to decide and initiate the settlement and now I'm the only one pregnant alone with no idea how I'm going to get through this. I'm happy about the pregnancy because I've waited so long but my heart is broken in a million pieces...he said he would support me as much as he could but he didn't want to live with me or work for me we marriage. I don't know how we're going to fix this, I'm so angry, sad and alone...

  2. Ministry of Environmental Protection May 9, 2023 at 7:26 am


    I met my husband in 2017 and we were separated for 2 years because of the military and we only saw each other twice in that time. We got married a year later and moved to the UK, married 5 years and together 6 years. We've had ups and downs throughout the relationship and he seems to go through these depressive phases where he told me he didn't know if he wanted to be with me or not. It's weird because when he's not depressed he says he doesn't mean it and he loves me very much but then he gets depressed again and says he doesn't think he loves me. A few days ago he came to me out of the blue and said he wanted a divorce after months of what seemed to be a good life with everything. He said he loved me, but he wasn't "in love" with me. However, he is also now experiencing extremely severe depression and started taking antidepressants a few weeks ago. I'm really confused because I keep thinking he's going to change his mind again, but he's already starting to get ready to send me home. I know I need to give him space and I can't force him to love me if he refuses. This is all very confusing and I don't know what to think.


What to do when a man tells you he doesn t love you anymore? ›

7 Ways to Heal When He Says He's Not in Love With You
  1. Write down the top 3 thoughts that keep circling around in your head. ...
  2. Challenge your thoughts. ...
  3. Give yourself (and him) space to breathe. ...
  4. Look at your relationship objectively. ...
  5. Be gentle with yourself. ...
  6. Take a break from yourself. ...
  7. Get out of town.
Oct 21, 2020

What to do when someone says I don't love you anymore? ›

The best thing to do in this situation is to take a break from the argument and gather your thoughts. When you're both cooled off, Cooper-Lovett says it's important to have a conversation about what they really meant when they said they didn't love you.

How to get over someone who says they don t love you anymore? ›

8 steps to stop loving someone who doesn't love you (once and for...
  1. Realize that he doesn't love you anymore. The hardest step is realizing that he doesn't love you anymore. ...
  2. Reflect on your needs. ...
  3. Be an individual. ...
  4. Love yourself first. ...
  5. Strengthen your beauty and inner peace. ...
  6. Eliminate hope. ...
  7. Be strong. ...
  8. Fall back in love.
Aug 2, 2017

What do people mean when they say love isn't enough? ›

Sometimes love is not enough meaning is that love may be enough to bring two people together but not quite in carrying them through the journey of life. Love is an emotional process, compatibility a logical one. Both are needed in equal measure to build a balanced partnership.


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